Lovesexlaughs Blog About Adventurous Sexuality

Hopefully gone are the days of women being shy about sex… & playing or experimenting with sex toys. I know this does not account for all, but all in all, women seem more comfortable with sex & talking about sex. TV programs & women’s magazines are testament to this sexual liberation.

Thankfully couples are experimenting & exploring beyond the basics. With this era of liberation comes a wide variety of products, both practical & experimental to increase sexual pleasure. Women are having lingerie parties at which they can view & touch various sex toys and shopping online for exciting lingerie and toys. Try our Lingerie Shop With A Twist at (Love Sex Laughs Lingerie)[http://www.lovesexlaughs.com]

Sex toys can function as a liberating force in themselves, by encouraging experimentation either by the solo player or couples. The vibrator is no longer seen as a substitute “for the real thing”. It is what it is …an accessory or enhancement for one & all to explore with. The opportunities are as limited as the imagination.

If folks are liberated in private, but not quite ready to announce to the world that they have or want a new vibrator… then the wonderful world of the internet provides a wide spectrum of resources, in the form of online stores to purchase the product of your fantasies or if you are already a seasoned toy owner… your essentials. You never know what you might find to take your fancy… new products come out all the time. There are adult games, bondage kits, outfits, the list is extensive. For a marital aid or just for fun, there is something for most.
The beauty of online purchase is that even the shyest of buyer, need not worry… most sites promise that goods arrive in discreet packaging & your private life remains private.

Happy Exploring

Why Is It Difficult for Women to Reach an Orgasm?

According to reports, roughly 70% of women don’t reach an orgasm during intercourse. Although that figure in itself is shocking, it also makes you wonder about how many women never orgasm at all (i.e., intercourse or not)!

A lot of flack fall on men on why women don’t experience an orgasm but truth be told, women have a lot to do about this as well whether they realize it or not.

6 Reasons Why Women DON’T Climax

There are many reasons why women don’t reach sexual climax. Some of them maybe men’s faults but a lot can be because of her too…

Foreplay? What foreplay?

Foreplay is extremely important. For women, making love begins in the mind and if you don’t ‘condition’ her mind for sex, then chances are she won’t be sexually reciprocating in bed too. Furthermore, women really do need more time than men to reach an orgasm; so foreplay is actually your way of extending your own sexual stamina.

She’s thinking too much!

Women are natural multi-taskers. Unfortunately, they’re so used to thinking and doing several things at the same time that they find it hard to simply be ‘in the moment’ during sex. If most men can be very ‘in the zone’ during sex, women seem to have various thoughts running through their heads all the time (e.g., home chores that need to be done, kids’ homework, dirty laundry, etc.).

She’s full of… insecurities.

Women have many body image issues. While you may adore her, her mind is probably worried about at least three different things as you undress her: Is the light revealing any cellulite? Are my ‘love handles’ protruding? Does he think my breasts are too small/big?

If body image anxiety is not in her head, then she may be thinking about things such as “I didn’t shower yet, I hope I smell good… especially down there.”, or “I didn’t pee. I hope I don’t embarrass myself.”

ALL these thoughts are making her focus on the wrong things! It’s taking attention away from sexual pleasure and into sexual insecurities. And when a woman is in this mode, it’s almost impossible to her focus on reaching her own climax!

She really doesn’t know her own body.

There is a certain art form to making love to a woman’s body. It really does have a lot of mysterious curves, spots and turns. Sadly, many women don’t indulge in a lot of ‘self exploration’ when it comes to sex. As such, it’s hard to guide you on what makes her feel good or which techniques really turn her on. And really, if she doesn’t know her own body, how can you be expected to instinctively know what brings her pleasure, right?

The best thing is… it’s never too late to learn! Why don’t you BOTH explore her body? Don’t rush anything and try everything. See what turns her on best and use that knowledge to make her reach her orgasm. Make it your sexual quest! However, here are some clues to save you a few steps…

YOU’re not paying attention!

True, men are not mind-readers. Unfortunately, many women are not great communicators in bed as well so we have a little problem here. Compounding this problem is of course that favorite female bedroom habit of ‘faking orgasms’. As a result, YOU think that what you’re doing is great when in reality you may not even be close!

To solve this particular problem, try to develop a certain ‘sexual code’ between you two. For instance, a slight squeeze on your arm means “You’re doing great! Pls. keep doing it!”; while nails on your skin or arm mean “enough of that!”. You will receive more squeezes, however, if you know some important facts. Click here to learn more…

YOU’re changing ‘techniques’ too fast.

Men like to try different sexual positions and that’s great but sometimes you may be changing just a bit too fast. Women need to get accustomed to a certain ‘rhythm’ before sexual pleasure begins to climb. If you keep shifting positions, she will either (a) never find the position that brings her an orgasm, (b) lose the sexual pleasure she was experiencing in the previous position or (c) be so frustrated that even if you go back to the same position, she may not be that sexually aroused again.

So keep this in mind: when it comes to female orgasm it’s not just location, location, location… it’s also about repetition, repetition, repetition.

Hopefully this list of potential reasons why your partner is not reaching an orgasm paves the way for discussion between the two of you. Don’t focus on why she’s not reaching an orgasm. Instead, focus on what you guys are going to do, so that she does reach her climax. That’s a more positive approach and lot more fun too! Learn creative and easy ways to do it here…

When I was married to my husband, Sam, we used to love white water canoeing. Not the superfast water where you took your life in your hands… We liked a moderate challenge with alternating pools of cool cold water interspersed with fairly challenging rapids. There was such a river in Arkansas that we canoed quite often. The time I remember best was our first trip down the river. We had just put in and paddled our canoes about a bit in open water to get the hang of it. It seemed for every set of rapids, there was a “wimp waterway” that ran alongside that was much less challenging. On our first set of rapids, we chose to use the easier waterway. As we were entering under a tree overhanging the water, Sam said to me. “Debra watermoccasin, lie down and be still”. That is just what I did, I lay on my back and looked up to an overhanging branch to see a watermoccasin wraped around a limb just above my head as I floated by. Sam lay forward in the boat and we both passed without harm except to our nerves.

I have a butterfly tattoo just above my left breast left over from my years as a stripper. I decided to swim in one of the pools and when I came up a lovely butterfly was flitting around my head and stayed with me for many miles downriver. She landed on my butterfly, flitted around my head, sat on my shoulder and behaved in a very un-butterfly sort of way. It felt like magic.

Eventually, we came to a large flock of bright yellow finches who were in the treetops on both sides of the river. Our paddles, it seemed, encouraged them to fly just ahead of us and with us from treetop to treetop down river for a couple of miles… Again, more magic ( or blessings from nature)…

Sam and I spotted a waterfall above the river so we pulled our boat over to the side and hiked up to the falls. It was delicious to let the water rush over our bodies. It was not long before we had both shed our clothes and stood nude with the water rushing over our skin. It became obvious that we were both turned on by the sensation so we began kissing and touching with the water falling over us.

We decided to make love right there in nature. I knelt on the bottom of the stream and Sam knelt behind me. We had terrific sex with the possibility that others canoeing below could possibly see us. What a turn on! I must confess, the feel of the rocks on the stream bed were hard to get past… but I managed to forget about them entirely as we got into the sensuality of the moment.

The rest of the trip, while very pleasant, was less adventurous. We were fishing for trout with kernals of corn. Folks were pulling in their limits all over. I caught nothing – until we had reached the end of the trip and the canoes were being loaded onto the truck for portage back to where we started. I cast my line one last time and my line wrapped around another line of someone who had caught this fish before. He seemed large and I was excited until I finally got him out of the water. It turned out to be a bottom feeder commonly called a “hog nosed sucker fish”. The nose did indeed look like a hog. it was obviously a bottom feeder and its skin seemed to be stretched over a hard, almost solid skeleton of bone… In otherwords a totally useless fish. I tossed him back and never had much luck with fishing after that – until I caught a 25 pound salmon just outside of San Francisco Bay many years later.

The memories of that trip linger to this day, the water moccasin, the butterfly and the wonderful sex under the waterfall… It all adds up to an unforgettable memory – just one of many I plan to share with you as we go along.

Stop back and see what I will tell you about next. All true memories, friend… Til later.

When I was single and available, there were few ways to meet women. Bars, social groups, sports, church (generally the Metropolitan Community Church), potlucks and being introduced by friends were the ways women usually met. In my world, bars were the most common. There were a few problems with meeting someone in bars: it could get expensive, the women you meet in bars generally like to hang out in bars (I met more than my share of drunks and players this way…), the hours were very late (most nights at the bars did not even start until about 11:30 pm), all there was to do was drink, shoot pool, and dance – talking was impossible because of the loud music –

I met my partner at a TGIF (Thank God It’s Friday) mixer put on by a group of lesbian business women called Bay Area Career Women. It was one of the best ways I found to meet women – though still a bar setting.

Today’s lesbian has a whole new possibility with the advent of the internet. There are now online dating clubs for both straights and gays/lesbians. The biggest one I am aware of and the one with the best reputation is Lesbian Personals. Try it! You might really enjoy this fun, new way to meet eligible women…

A kiss between strangers.

Hi, all. It has been a while since I have posted. I have been thinking about sexuality. Mine – Yours – Everyone’s… At this time in my life, I consider myself a lesbian. I am with my partner for 16 + years by now and plan on staying here. I may be a bit of a strange lesbian in that I have had a lot of sex with men – a lot of great sex with men. I have no regrets about it, I remember it fondly and it can still turn me on just thinking about it. That statement may not win a lot of points for me with lesbians… but I am being honest here… I may not be politically correct (I have never been really big on political correctness, anyway.) I have never been one to let any conventions determine how I live my life. It is actually one of the things I like most about the person I am – my fierce spirit of independence. It helped me move away from my small town Southern roots but allowed me to choose the best parts of the South to hold in my heart.

I’d like to share some of my many types of experiences with you – that means ALL of the types of experiences I have been lucky enough to have. I’d hate to lose any lesbian readers and I hope I don’t, but, if I am going to be completely honest with you, Dear Reader, I have to risk it.

In one of my earlier posts, Pink Cadillac, I told you of an experience with a woman I had in a limo. The people involved were her, me and, to an extent, the driver. The driver fits into the story I am going to tell you tonight. All of my stories are true so I am going to change the names to protect the innocent (and the not so innocent). I worked for a group of strip clubs in San Diego. The women were rotated between the clubs providing a lot of variety for customers to see. The driver of the limosine who took the dancers in the clubs from place to place most nights (we will call him Ron) was a solidly built, handsome man with long wavy black hair and a black moustache. He had this quiet dignity about him. He rarely spoke but managed to appear very intelligent. Ron exuded masculinity. He had an on again – off again relationship with a woman we all considered to be a stunning dancer. She was incredibly lovely with a fabulous body, a well done inspired dance routine and a fairly aloof attitude. Like her man, she was all business when she worked (which wasn’t very often). A few weeks after the episode I called Pink Cadillac, I had another very interesting experience with him. It was a Saturday night and the clubs closed quite late. Many of us either hung out together at a club or restaurant or went right home to bed. This night I had chosen to go right home but on my way I suddenly became inspired to stop in to “visit” with Ron. He and his girlfriend were on the outs again so it seemed like perfect timing.

I did not even think about calling ahead (cells phones were in the distant future at this point in the early 1970s). I knocked on his door and he opened it to me with no outward sign of surprise. It was as if he were used to being awakened late at night by a horney girl. I stepped inside and experienced what Erica Jong described as a zipless fuck. Our clothes just seemed to disappear like magic and we were kissing passionately as we laid down on his huge bed. He looked even better nude than he did with all his clothes on. His muscles were firm and prominent with perfect 6 pack abs and muscular arms, legs and butt. He was built, too. Not the biggest man I ever saw but very respectible. He never even turned on the lights, we just fell into the bed together and did what came naturally and a few things that did not come quite so naturally.

We had been playing for quite a while and he was fucking me again. I was on my back with my knees drawn up and my feet in the air. I would be hard pressed to say if what happened next was an accident or something he planned on doing, but, with no preparation or warning at all he suddenly (between one thrust and another) inserted his penis in my ass. I discovered a couple of things at that moment,,, I discovered the meaning of extreme pain and I also discovered I kind of like it. I screamed and he held me and apologized for hurting me and then we slowly began to have sex again. He began to explore my ass and while it had hurt like hell, I found it very exciting. He eventually entered me again in the ass and I was very turned on. We both climaxed at the same time, loudly and with enthusiasm then snuggled together until it was almost dawn.

I got up, got dressed, kissed him lightly goodbye and left. He got back together with his girlfriend and we never slept together again but I learned a lot that night. I don’t know if I learned what he intended to teach (if he intended to teach me anything at all…). I learned that it really does matter how big a man is. That there is something to be said for an average size man. Bigger is not necessarily always better. That the line between pleasure and pain is indeed a very fine line and one it is okay to cross but only if both people understand what is going on. I discovered that sex with no emotions involved can be very satisfying and decided to keep it on my dance card for many years.

Years later, I heard that after a particularly bad breakup with his girlfriend, he committed suicide. I felt very bad for him. I also found it very odd to think that a man I had been intimate with was dead. That may be an odd thing to feel, but, there it is… And that, as they say, is the end of the story.A fine line between pleasure and pain