Lovesexlaughs Blog About Adventurous Sexuality

When I was single and available, there were few ways to meet women. Bars, social groups, sports, church (generally the Metropolitan Community Church), potlucks and being introduced by friends were the ways women usually met. In my world, bars were the most common. There were a few problems with meeting someone in bars: it could get expensive, the women you meet in bars generally like to hang out in bars (I met more than my share of drunks and players this way…), the hours were very late (most nights at the bars did not even start until about 11:30 pm), all there was to do was drink, shoot pool, and dance – talking was impossible because of the loud music –

I met my partner at a TGIF (Thank God It’s Friday) mixer put on by a group of lesbian business women called Bay Area Career Women. It was one of the best ways I found to meet women – though still a bar setting.

Today’s lesbian has a whole new possibility with the advent of the internet. There are now online dating clubs for both straights and gays/lesbians. The biggest one I am aware of and the one with the best reputation is Lesbian Personals. Try it! You might really enjoy this fun, new way to meet eligible women…

A kiss between strangers.

Hi, all. It has been a while since I have posted. I have been thinking about sexuality. Mine – Yours – Everyone’s… At this time in my life, I consider myself a lesbian. I am with my partner for 16 + years by now and plan on staying here. I may be a bit of a strange lesbian in that I have had a lot of sex with men – a lot of great sex with men. I have no regrets about it, I remember it fondly and it can still turn me on just thinking about it. That statement may not win a lot of points for me with lesbians… but I am being honest here… I may not be politically correct (I have never been really big on political correctness, anyway.) I have never been one to let any conventions determine how I live my life. It is actually one of the things I like most about the person I am – my fierce spirit of independence. It helped me move away from my small town Southern roots but allowed me to choose the best parts of the South to hold in my heart.

I’d like to share some of my many types of experiences with you – that means ALL of the types of experiences I have been lucky enough to have. I’d hate to lose any lesbian readers and I hope I don’t, but, if I am going to be completely honest with you, Dear Reader, I have to risk it.

In one of my earlier posts, Pink Cadillac, I told you of an experience with a woman I had in a limo. The people involved were her, me and, to an extent, the driver. The driver fits into the story I am going to tell you tonight. All of my stories are true so I am going to change the names to protect the innocent (and the not so innocent). I worked for a group of strip clubs in San Diego. The women were rotated between the clubs providing a lot of variety for customers to see. The driver of the limosine who took the dancers in the clubs from place to place most nights (we will call him Ron) was a solidly built, handsome man with long wavy black hair and a black moustache. He had this quiet dignity about him. He rarely spoke but managed to appear very intelligent. Ron exuded masculinity. He had an on again – off again relationship with a woman we all considered to be a stunning dancer. She was incredibly lovely with a fabulous body, a well done inspired dance routine and a fairly aloof attitude. Like her man, she was all business when she worked (which wasn’t very often). A few weeks after the episode I called Pink Cadillac, I had another very interesting experience with him. It was a Saturday night and the clubs closed quite late. Many of us either hung out together at a club or restaurant or went right home to bed. This night I had chosen to go right home but on my way I suddenly became inspired to stop in to “visit” with Ron. He and his girlfriend were on the outs again so it seemed like perfect timing.

I did not even think about calling ahead (cells phones were in the distant future at this point in the early 1970s). I knocked on his door and he opened it to me with no outward sign of surprise. It was as if he were used to being awakened late at night by a horney girl. I stepped inside and experienced what Erica Jong described as a zipless fuck. Our clothes just seemed to disappear like magic and we were kissing passionately as we laid down on his huge bed. He looked even better nude than he did with all his clothes on. His muscles were firm and prominent with perfect 6 pack abs and muscular arms, legs and butt. He was built, too. Not the biggest man I ever saw but very respectible. He never even turned on the lights, we just fell into the bed together and did what came naturally and a few things that did not come quite so naturally.

We had been playing for quite a while and he was fucking me again. I was on my back with my knees drawn up and my feet in the air. I would be hard pressed to say if what happened next was an accident or something he planned on doing, but, with no preparation or warning at all he suddenly (between one thrust and another) inserted his penis in my ass. I discovered a couple of things at that moment,,, I discovered the meaning of extreme pain and I also discovered I kind of like it. I screamed and he held me and apologized for hurting me and then we slowly began to have sex again. He began to explore my ass and while it had hurt like hell, I found it very exciting. He eventually entered me again in the ass and I was very turned on. We both climaxed at the same time, loudly and with enthusiasm then snuggled together until it was almost dawn.

I got up, got dressed, kissed him lightly goodbye and left. He got back together with his girlfriend and we never slept together again but I learned a lot that night. I don’t know if I learned what he intended to teach (if he intended to teach me anything at all…). I learned that it really does matter how big a man is. That there is something to be said for an average size man. Bigger is not necessarily always better. That the line between pleasure and pain is indeed a very fine line and one it is okay to cross but only if both people understand what is going on. I discovered that sex with no emotions involved can be very satisfying and decided to keep it on my dance card for many years.

Years later, I heard that after a particularly bad breakup with his girlfriend, he committed suicide. I felt very bad for him. I also found it very odd to think that a man I had been intimate with was dead. That may be an odd thing to feel, but, there it is… And that, as they say, is the end of the story.A fine line between pleasure and pain

Hot Lips

Not long after I had my first sexual experience with a woman (I talked about it in my last blog entry), I was working the clubs. We danced in several clubs in the same evening. The clubs operated a pink Cadillac limo driven by a very muscular, very mysterious man with long wavy black hair. He rarely spoke. Not that he was unfriendly – just quiet. During the drive from one club to another, most of us chatted, gossiped and occasionally napped. On this night I had already danced at two clubs and was on my way to the third. There were only three of us in the limo, me, the driver and Rebecca. Rebecca was a tall, lovely college girl. She was actually dancing her way through college. It seemed like such a cliche’ but with her it was fact. She kept herself apart from the other dancers and nobody gave her grief about it. We all respected what she was doing and her talent on stage. She was a marvelous dancer. She moved her body fluidly with the rhythm of the music. She was tall and lean with long limbs. Her moves were graceful and mesmerizing. Even her music was different. She danced to a bluesy, soulful music that was light years different from the standard fare the rest of the dancers used. My music was usually different as well but not to the degree hers was. Even on stage she kept herself aloof. Making eye contact with the audience was a specialty of mine. I was turned on by the appreciation I saw in their eyes. With Rebecca it was as though it was enough to just grace the audience with permission to watch her dance. She was in her own world on stage and usually off stage, as well.

The night was warm and the windows were down with the cool Pacific breeze brushing over our skin and the smell of the ocean on the air. Traffic on the San Diego freeway was light for some reason and the trip was shaping up to be uneventful, I thought… (Boy was I ever wrong about that!) The driver was in the front and Rebecca and I were in back. Music was playing low on the radio. Rebecca turned to me and said in her husky voice. “So, I heard you are into women…” I had told very few people about my experience with the married couple from San Diego State. But I told her that I had a wonderful experience with a woman for the first time. (The husband was there also but to tell the truth, I don’t remember much about him all these years later. Now, as it was then, he was just an aside and his beautiful wife’s kisses and moans were what I took away from that night.)

Much to my surprise, Rebecca slid over very close to me on the seat and said in a low voice, “I’ve been watching you.” As she said this, she slid her long arm around my shoulder and cuddled up close to me. My heart was pounding. What was going on? Could this really be happening? She stroked me from my shoulder to my fingers then ran her fingers over my neck and chin as she raised my lips to hers. She kissed me very gently at first, then with more passion. I was so excited I was trembling as she reached over and slid her fingers down and held my breast in her cool hand. She pinched my nipple between her fingers and pulled on it with a twist. By now I was wet with a pulse pounding in my vagina. I wanted her to touch me so badly. I opened my legs and she slipped her hand under my skirt and ran her fingers from the back of my knee up the inside of my thigh to my panty line. By now, my breathing was ragged and I was tense with expectation. She cupped me gently in her hand then with one smooth movement reached up and put her fingers into my panties and down to my pussy. I was drenched! She gave a moan of excitement when she discovered this and stroked and fingered me till I was tight with excitement. We were going down the San Diego freeway at full speed with the driver silently listening. At some point he had reached up and turned the music off. The only sounds were our moans and the rush of wind from the open windows. Just knowing he was there listening added to the excitement. By now, I had regained enough presence to reach over and fondle her full breasts. She gently but firmly removed my hand and shook her head at me. “What the heck!” I thought as I lay back on the seat and surrendered to her gentle then increasingly rapid ministrations. It was not long before I came with a great shudder and collapsed against her shoulder. I held her hand up and gently licked and sucked her fingers which had been so good to me just moments before. She kissed me softly on the lips and smiled at me beautifully.

We were off the freeway now and in the neighborhood of the next club we were to dance in. The driver pulled up to the club and said his usual. “Here we are ladies.” as he swung out to open our door. This time he reached in to give us each a hand. As she stepped out, Rebecca stopped to give him a deep kiss. I waited and then he helped me out. I also stopped to give him a passionate kiss. As we went in to the club, I admit, my legs were weak at the knees.

We did our usual stage routines (though, I admit, mine was even a bit more inspired than usual). She stayed to dance another time in the club and I caught the limo back to the club where my car was parked. My night was over. So was my time with Rebecca. She was studying for finals so did not dance the following week. I heard that she spent the summer in Europe – a gift from her parents by way of reconciliation. She did not dance at the clubs the next semester. The night of that incredible ride in the limo was her last at the clubs. She never gave her phone number or address to any of the dancers. It would have been in very bad form to reach out to her in any way, so, I just accepted the experience of that exquisite ride as another of Life’s unexpected gifts. I have been given many gifts but that experience with that cool sophisticated woman has to be at or near the top of the list of my best. For months I remembered as I lay in bed at night, her fingers between my legs stroking me to orgasm. Her deep passionate kisses and her last soft sweet kiss, of what I was to learn was farewell are with me still…

Sexy nude woman

I had always been straight. I never really remember thinking about it (except as I mentioned earlier in the blog – while at sleepovers I would wonder “Are any of the other girls thinking about other girls the way I am…”). It came as a surprise to me when I became attracted to another dancer. Her name was Terry and she had lovely straight brown hair, green eyes, great long legs and a smattering of freckles all over. I thought she was perfect. She was very smart, sexy, attentive and had the best smile I had ever seen. I loved to watch her dance on stage. Her whole presence was sophisticated and smart. Her mind was incredible (I realize I have called her smart in two different places so far). She was the first communist I ever met and she loved to tease me.

One night as she came off stage after a sexy dance with a large feather, I was waiting to go on after her. She handed me her feather, kissed me gently and said, “Don’t get it wet, Sweetie”. Well I became wet instantly! I knew I wanted her but I didn’t really know what it was I wanted. I did know that to lie in her arms would be paradise but as for the rest, I had not a clue. I approached the “problem” like I approach most things – 1. Name the issue. 2. Research possible solutions. 3. Act on the research to resolve the issue. So – I went to some women’s bookstores and bought a few books on lesbianism. Talked to a few lesbians (a surprisingly large percentage of the exotic dancers I worked with were lesbians or bisexual). I was still nervous. I did not want her to be my first. I wanted to make sure I could “do it” first.

In the meantime, the owner of the clubs where I danced asked me to manage one of his clubs in the suburbs. It was a Swing Club. Dancers would perform before men who had come to the club to find dates (translate that to prostitutes we hooked them up with) and couples who came to the club to find other couples or singles to “swing” with them. This was the early seventies, remember, the height of the sexual revolution. Swing clubs and parties could be found in most larger cities and even in some smaller towns. Knowing I had this issue to resolve with Terry, I kept my eyes open for a way to resolve it.

One night the resolution walked into the club. A lovely, very feminine woman with long blond hair and a tall, handsome man entered and told me they were looking for a woman to swing with. The woman said she was curious but had never slept with a woman and the man – like all men, as I have since discovered- wanted to go to bed with two women. I was very hot, myself, at that time with long golden wavey hair, a pretty face, large breasts and a small waist and a nice firm body. I knew they would welcome me to their bed so that is just what I did. I went home with them and discovered I could, indeed “do it” and enjoyed it very much. It seemed perfectly natural to me to lick her lovely pink pussy (and yes, she was a natural blond). It felt wonderful to be embraced by those soft, silky arms and kissed by those lucious, sensual lips. She was a dream. I could hardly believe I had gotten so lucky. He, on the other hand was a real Cecil B. DeMille. He wanted to direct the entire episode. “You do this – now you do that.” His lovely wife and I kept finding ways to send him out of the room – “Get us a glass of water, please.”, so we could ravish each other. Her breasts were large and beautiful, her blue eyes were full of pleasure and her moans were intoxicating. I left their home reluctantly and never went back. Like the man to whom I gave my virginity, I wanted to accomplish something. I did and then moved on . I wonder about her sometimes. Did she stay with Mr. Demille or did she give herself over to her feelings? Is she a straight married woman or a lesbian woman in the world today? Does she ever think about that night – that incredible night? Does she remember it with the fondness that I do? Does she still have that soft, lucious, beautiful body that was so pleased to be touched and licked so many years ago? I will never know – unless she reads this blog and contacts me. Whether she does or not – I wish her well and hope she has had as happy a life as I have had…

I never slept with the woman who started the whole thing – Terry, but I have very fond memories of her, as well and wish for her only the best of what life has to offer.

Exotic dance is much more than “dancing sexy”, it is learning how to reach deep within yourself, finding your own inner beauty and grace combined into a sensual movement in only a way that you can express it. This instructional vide (more…)

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